My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
