the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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