your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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