Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
