i don't plan on having that self control this summer
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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