hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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