did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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