I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
