No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
