Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I want to make a zoo with you.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
