we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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