He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
