he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
FUCK WHALES
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
