I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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