It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
