Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
