Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
