we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We are all done wearing pants today
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
