I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
