I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
