I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
