So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
