I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
