And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
