I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
