this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
