If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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