I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Come share oat with me in your robe
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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