Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
