My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
