I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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