I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
