she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
