best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
