Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
