Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
