I wish my penis had an off switch
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
