Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
