wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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