I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
