If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
