one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
