What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
