We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
