whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
