Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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