You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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