If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
