Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
