Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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