I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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